Now I would like to get into what I have been thinking about lately and see if you guys have any actual advice for me as to what I should do.
First, is my non-existent relationship with a girl. I cannot figure out why, but I seriously have been feeling very lonely tonight and for most of the day. I don't know why, but I have. And it sucks.This got me to thinking about if I want to try and get into a relationship with someone and I honestly do not know...I mean it would definitely be nice to have someone who I can always be with and well...do whatever. But I can't help but notice that I do not feel that I would be able to give the girl, whoever she may be, enough attention and all that. I know people tell me yeah you need a girlfriend and you can just be yourself and do whatever you want but I don't see how. To have a significant other is to devote part of your life to them, not to just have them with you to go along for the ride (at least that's how I see it, correct me if you think I am wrong). I know, and you can ask my friends, that I do always talk about how oh that girl is hot and other sex-related comments, but I have never once acted upon those words since I have been here at college. I just don't know what to do. The last time I was in a relationship (and it was a good year and a half) it just sort of happened and I had no idea how or why it even happened; it just did. I really liked having a girlfriend and then I made some mistakes and so did she and we split up. Ever since then I have just had no desire to go through that again. I don't know what it is about me, but I just guess that if I go and talk to a girl randomly and out of the blue, she will just think that I am another guy who just wants sex and to, as the hip kiddos say "hit it and quit". So yeah I'm shy and all that but that doesn't matter. Just let me know what you think I should do.
Secondly, and probably lastly for tonight, is what I have been thinking about for decisions and decision-making. For example, going out with friends to parties is fun, but I could be spending that time preparing myself to get good grades at school and you know, get a better future. It just seems like every time I make a decision to do something fun and have a good time (even if it's the choice to play video games) I always get this huge feeling of guilt and it just weighs me down to the point where I feel like my world is just falling apart and I have no control over anything (like how I feel right now). So my idea tonight was to kind of vent my thoughts to you guys and see what, if anything, you have to say about it.
Well I don't really want to think about anything anymore so I'm gonna try to go to sleep and listen to Linkin Park or something...please don't leave troll comments.
And if any bids are reading this, congrats!! Hope you had a great time this weekend and look forward to getting to know you all!