I saw the ending of the Twilight Saga today at the movie theater in my hometown and it reminded me of old memories of high school...back when everything seemed much easier than it does today. I'm afraid I am losing touch with the world I want to live in...straying away from what I want my life to be. Continually I find myself regretting things I have done, only to continue doing those same things repeatedly. In all honesty, I just want someone to love. I felt that way once about 4 years ago. Those were some of the best memories I have thus far in my life. Seeing this movie, it reminded me of my happiness and what it feels like to be with someone you love. Silly or not, I want this again but I doubt that my choices, actions, and interests are favorable towards this sentiment. Need I say anymore? Even though I could expand on this for many more lines I will resist and keep those thoughts to myself.
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Recently I have been doing a lot of nothing, mainly simply studying for exams at college and such, and I find myself thinking that I do not really have a strong passion for anything. What I mean is the idea that one can, at basically any time of any day, be passionate about doing some task or completing some sort of job. I feel that this is currently eluding my life and I feel like I want to find something to fill that time. Granted, I do play a lot of video games (probably more than any of you ever thought you could) but I'm not particularly passionate about them. For instance, today when I was playing Halo 4 it said I couldn't get any more xp in the game today so I stopped playing. I did not know what to do with myself seeing as Thanksgiving break begins tomorrow. I simply had no idea what to do with myself. It actually opened my eyes and got me thinking about, well, whatever I was thinking at that time. So, what did I do with myself? Went onto Facebook and YouTube. These two little friends are splendid at eradicating any free time I might have in my life. And now I am here.
Well th Well it sure has been awhile since I have posted to this blog but what can I say it's mine. Watched a movie today in my Philosophy of Film class today which I didn't care too much for and played an ass load of Halo 4 which is currently consuming part of my life. Hopefully I don't get tired of it too quickly. Got back physio and biochem grades today and i do not understand what I keep doing wrong in biochem but yeah..I need to fix that.
I am still doing a lot of thinking and it continues to degrade my nights every now and again. Typically this kind of thinking you would think is good for a person but at times I honestly think it is harmful to my personal life and whatever else. I am still as shy as ever although I have met more people. I want to get involved with someone and I also don't. Nothing new. I really haven't changed much at all. I need to get my mind off of these sorts of things, it does nothing but make me sad. Can I get an opinion from people: Is it a bad idea for me to just wait for the right girl to come along or should I be a go-getter? I will read comments, might not respond. Looked at the activity of my site and despite my lack of updates it continues to get quite a few views per day which makes me laugh. I do hope that the girl I meet will be from ONU or from back home or something. And if I don't, oh well. It seems Thanksgiving break is closing onto us quickly and I need to gather my thoughts over this break also whilst studying for OTC and physio. I don't think I will ever get a true break for the rest of my life from now on [starting 3 years ago]. Well maybe I will continue writing in this. Later people. |
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